Bringing common sense with a grain of salt back to parenting!
Mistake: Comparing your baby’s motor skills to everyone else’s.
Consequence: “She’s not just crawling — she’s sprinting toward Harvard."
Reality check: Developmental timelines aren’t races, and bragging rights don’t help anyone..
We might think early crawling proves our baby is “ahead.” In reality, when we turn crawling (or any other developmental milestone) into a contest, we stress babies, ourselves, and start a comparison cycle that never ends.
THE ISSUE
Some parents see crawling, walking, or babbling as competitive sports. Playdates turn into scoreboards, and every milestone becomes a bragging opportunity. But babies don’t know there’s a race — and parenting isn’t a medal ceremony. Turning crawling — or any milestone — into a competition, can have severe unwanted consequences for a child’s self-confidence.
WHY PARENTS DO THIS
No parent does this with the intention of destroying their child’s self-confidence. We do it because:
Milestones feel like visible proof we’re “doing it right.”
Other parents casually brag, and we feel pressured to compare.
Social media amplifies “my baby is ahead” posts.
It’s an outlet for parental pride — framed as harmless chatter.
You’d think that once you’ve survived pregnancy, birth, and those early weeks of sleepless zombie-parent existence, you’d be too exhausted to keep score. But no, that’s when we step right into the arena of one of the most bizarreearly parenting competitions: the Baby Development Olympics.
It starts innocently enough. You’re at a playdate, coffee group, or baby music class, and someone casually mentions, “Oh, Emily’s already crawling!” You look down at your own little bundle of joy, who is currently content to lie on their back, chewing on their foot like a blissful, stationary Buddha. And suddenly you’re thinking:
Wait. Crawling? At seven months? Are we behind? Is this how it starts?
Before long, you’ve Googled “average crawling age” (and bookmarked the Mayo Clinic page), made a mental note to practice “tummy time” twice as long, and started creating little obstacle courses in your living room like you’re training a tiny, drooling Navy SEAL.
Parents fall into this trap because milestones feel like visible, measurable proof that we’re “doing it right.” If your baby rolls early, sits up early, crawls early — clearly you’ve unlocked some secret super-parent level, right? And since babies can’t exactly show off their GPA or varsity letters yet, motor skills become the scoreboard.
Plus, let’s be honest: competitive crawling is often less about the baby and more about us. It’s a socially acceptable way to brag without saying, “My kid is better than yours.” You just casually drop, “Oh, she started crawling at six months — we can barely keep up!” and wait for the collective gasp.
HOW THIS HARMS CHILDREN (AND US)
Here’s the thing: our babies doesn’t know they’re “ahead” or “behind.” They don’t even know there’s a race. They’re just trying to figure out how to get from Point A (the blanket) to Point B (the shiny, forbidden TV remote) without face-planting.
When we turn crawling — or any milestone — into a competition, a few things happen:
Pressure replaces play. Babies are masters at picking up our emotions. If every tummy time session feels like an Olympic trial, they sense that tension. This can make exploration feel stressful instead of fun.
Pushing too soon. Propping a baby into positions they’re not ready for, or constantly “helping” them crawl, can actually frustrate them and, in some cases, hinder natural development. Crawling (as many other things bebies learn) is a process — and forcing the finish line doesn’t help.
The comparison cycle begins. The crawling race quickly turns into the walking race, the talking race, the reading race, and so on. If we don’t break the cycle, kids grow up feeling their worth is tied to hitting life’s “checkpoints” faster than others.
Narrow focus. We miss other strengths (babbling, curiosity, problem-solving). Motor skills are just one part of development. The baby who’s “behind” on crawling might be “ahead” on babbling, social interaction, or problem-solving — but those milestones are harder to brag about on Instagram.
Parental burnout. Constant comparison robs us of enjoying our baby for who they are right now. Instead of celebrating their gummy grins or fascination with the ceiling fan, we’re worrying about their split time from the coffee table to the couch.
AVOIDING THE TRAP
Luckily, if we want our baby to thrive without the added stress of parental competition, there are many ways to raise a thriving explorer without the Olympic stopwatch:
Remember the range. Crawling typically happens anywhere between 6–10 months — and some babies skip it entirely and go straight to walking. Our pediatrician is the best guide for spotting actual developmental concerns, far better than Instagram gurus.
Celebrate every step. Rolling over, pivoting in circles, scooting backward — these are all signs that your baby’s building strength and coordination. The process matters more than the exact date they achieve “forward crawl.”
Enjoy immobility while it lasts. Once they crawl, it will be ages before you drink hot coffee again. Once they’re mobile, you will hardly have a chance to sit down. You will eat cold meals. You will learn how to sprint while holding a baby gate. So savor the days when you can put them on a blanket and they stay put.
Skip the brag trap. Smile at others’ stories without turning it into a scoreboard. If someone else’s baby is crawling early, resist the urge to respond with your own milestone flex. Just smile, say “That’s great!” and remember that no one wins a medal for speed-crawling
Follow their interests. Some babies love movement, others love sounds or faces. Some babies are more interested in social play, vocalizing, or fine motor skills than gross motor movement. Support whatever stage they’re in rather than trying to “rebalance” them toward your preferred timeline.
Keep play fun. Floor time is valuable — but keep it lighthearted. Use toys, songs, or silly faces to encourage movement. Think “playground” not “training camp.”
Seek reassurance, not comparisons. If you worry, ask your pediatrician — not Google or the mom at music class.
THE PAYOFF
When we stop comparing crawling speeds, we enjoy our babies as they are — not as competitors.
Your baby will crawl when they’re ready — and it won’t be because you ran daily drills or timed their laps across the living room. It’ll be because their muscles, brain, and curiosity all lined up at the right moment.
In the long run, no one cares whether they crawled at 7 months or 10. It will mean exactly nothing to their future self. Their college admissions essay will not include: “First to crawl in the 2019 Moms’ Group Playdate Series.” The only thing that will matter is that you let them develop at their own pace, celebrated their little victories, and gave them the space — literally and figuratively — to explore the world without turning it into a competition.
So put down the stopwatch, grab your phone for the occasional video (because yes, you’ll want to remember that hilarious army crawl phase), and cheer them on simply because they’re your baby… not because they’re breaking land-speed records. Your baby’s “milestones” aren’t medals. They’re moments — meant to be celebrated, not timed. And someday, when you look back, you’ll laugh about their wobbly army crawl toward the forbidden TV remote — without once wishing it had happened earlier.
© Kristijan Musek Lešnik, 2025
