Bringing common sense with a grain of salt back to parenting!
Dismissing tweens’ “pointless” passions teaches them that joy only counts if it’s resume-worthy and approved by others.
Mistake: Dismissing passions that seem silly.
Reality check: Support now — the hobby might lead somewhere unexpected.
Parents love to divide the world into “serious” and “silly.” School subjects? Serious. Sports teams with uniforms? Serious. Minecraft, Pokémon, Roblox, TikTok dances? Silly. But tweens don’t see that line. For them, joy is serious. Their passions — no matter how pixelated or obscure — are the seeds of curiosity, creativity, and confidence. The danger is that when we dismiss those seeds, we risk choking off growth before it begins.
THE ISSUE
Your tween won’t stop talking about Minecraft redstone circuits. You nod vaguely while Googling “redstone circuits explained like I’m five.” Or maybe it’s Pokémon trading — you can’t keep track of which card is rare, which is “shiny,” and which is apparently worth more than your first car.
And after the fifteenth conversation, you hear yourself sighing:
“Okay, but this isn’t serious, right?”
That’s the trap. To us, their obsessions feel trivial, repetitive, or even irritating. To them, they’re identity-building, world-expanding, and utterly serious in the moment. When we brush them off, we’re not just tuning out chatter. We’re signaling: What excites you doesn’t matter.
WHY PARENTS DO THIS
We dismiss tweens’ passions not because we’re monsters, but because our adult brains run on a different operating system.
Generational Disconnect. We didn’t grow up building pixel castles or filming TikToks. Our “serious hobbies” were riding bikes until dark, doodling in notebooks, or playing Snake on a Nokia phone. Their passions look alien to us.
Future Anxiety. We panic that they’re “wasting time” on something that won’t get them into college or a stable job. A kid who spends four hours building Minecraft farms doesn’t look like “future architect” to us — it looks like “future adult living in our basement.”
Over-Scheduling Bias. If it’s not in a program, class, or league, it doesn’t feel legitimate. Piano lessons? Serious. Roblox storytelling? Silly. Never mind that Roblox requires more imagination than the average scales exercise.
Comparison to Our Own Childhoods. We conveniently forget how much time we spent on non-serious pursuits — watching cartoons, memorizing song lyrics, building elaborate Lego sets we never finished. We remember the “serious” parts and judge them by that selective memory.
Parental Fatigue. Let’s be honest: sometimes we’re just tired. Listening to a 12-minute monologue about Minecraft mechanics can make even the most loving parent’s brain melt. “Serious” becomes shorthand for “something I can handle.”
HOW THIS HARMS CHILDREN (AND US)
When we brush off tweens’ interests, we send subtle but powerful messages.
It Devalues Their Passions. Kids feel: My joy doesn’t count unless it fits someone else’s definition of serious.
It Discourages Exploration. If every interest is judged, they’ll stop trying new things — or worse, hide them from you.
It Hurts Connection. Shared enthusiasm bonds people. Ignoring their passions creates distance at an age when connection is already fragile.
It Sends the Wrong Career Message. Some of today’s most viable careers — social media, game design, coding — started as hobbies nobody took seriously.
It Limits Identity. Tweens shape who they are through what they love. If every interest is dismissed, they’ll mold themselves into someone who performs for approval rather than explores authentically.
It increases the need for external approval. They may learn that value comes only from external approval. Instead of asking “Do I enjoy this?” they’ll ask “Will others respect this?” That’s a heavy burden to carry into adulthood.
THEN VS. NOW
Back Then (80s/90s):
Hobbies were physical or analog: skateboarding, drawing, collecting stamps or coins.
Parents dismissed them too (“No one pays rent with a skateboard trick!”).
But most parents weren’t constantly worried about resume-building. Kids had more room for “pointless” joy.
Now (2020s):
Hobbies are digital, global, and often monetizable. A kid obsessed with gaming might be training for esports, coding, or design.
Social media makes comparisons brutal. Parents see other kids in chess clubs or gymnastics competitions and panic that Minecraft is “falling behind.”
Childhood feels professionalized. If it’s not a structured pursuit with medals, it’s suspect.
AVOIDING THE TRAP
The goal isn’t to treat every hobby like a career launchpad. It’s to honor the role of play and passion in their development. There are many ways to shift from dismissive to supportive.
Be Curious, Not Critical (and Especially Not Cynical). Instead of: “Why do you waste your time on that?” you can try “What do you like about it?” or “Show me what you’re working on.”
Look for Hidden Skills. Behind every “silly” interest lies transferable skills (Minecraft: planning, architecture, spatial reasoning... ; Pokémon cards: strategy, negotiation, math... ; TikTok dances: persistence, creativity, performance... ; Roblox storytelling: writing, coding, collaboration...) When you spot the skills, you can appreciate the passion without needing it to look “serious.”
Avoid Turning It into Homework. Don’t over-structure their joy. A tween who loves drawing doesn’t need an “Advanced Portfolio Camp” the next week. Let hobbies breathe without making them obligations.
Celebrate Milestones. If they finish a Minecraft castle, beat a tricky level, or write a song — acknowledge it. You don’t need expertise to say, “That’s really cool.” Enthusiasm counts more than credentials.
Keep an Open Mind About Real-World Value. The line between “fun” and “career” is blurrier than ever. Content creation, game design, social media marketing — all grew out of hobbies once dismissed. Even if their hobby never becomes a career, it still builds skills and joy worth respecting.
Share Your Own Past “Pointless” Passions. Tell them about your garage band, skateboard tricks, or endless doodles. Many of us were once passionately devoted to things that went nowhere — but the joy was real, and the lessons lasted.
Set Healthy Boundaries Without Dismissing. It’s fine to limit screen time or balance activities. Just make sure limits aren’t code for disdain. Say: “Two hours is plenty,” not “That’s a waste of time.” Boundaries plus respect build trust.
MISTAKES TO AVOID
Calling their hobbies a “waste of time.”
Comparing them unfavorably to other kids’ “serious” activities.
Only supporting interests you personally understand.
Treating non-academic passions as “phases” to be outgrown.
THE PAYOFF
When we respect our tweens' passions — even the pixelated or perplexing ones — we’re doing more than tolerating noise. We’re teaching:
Joy matters.
Exploration is safe.
Identity is theirs to build.
In addition, sometimes those “pointless” (in our eyes) hobbies lead to surprising futures. The Minecraft kid might become an architect. The YouTube editor might become a filmmaker. The Pokémon strategist might becoma a lawyer.
But even if none of that happens it still matters. Because hobbies teach persistence, creativity, and the very healthy idea that life isn’t just about being “serious.”
By honoring their joy, we show our teens that value isn’t measured only in medals or resumes. It’s measured in what lights them up — and the confidence to follow that spark. This might result someday, when they’re adults, in their looking back and saying: “My parents didn’t always get it. But they let me love what I loved.”
That’s not just support. That’s love in action.
© Kristijan Musek Lešnik, 2025
