The "Ignoring Their Interests Because They’re Not Serious" Trap

dr. Kristijan Musek Lešnik
Oct 14, 2025
3 min read

To parents many tweens' obsessions may feel feel trivial, repetitive, or even irritating. But to them, they’re identity-building, world-expanding, and utterly serious in the moment.

“Dismissing tweens’ “pointless” passions teaches them that joy only counts if it’s resume-worthy.”

Parents love to divide the world into “serious” and “silly.” School subjects? Serious. Sports teams with uniforms? Serious. Minecraft, Pokémon, Roblox, TikTok dances? Silly. But tweens don’t see that line. For them, joy is serious. Their passions — no matter how pixelated or obscure — are the seeds of curiosity, creativity, and confidence. The danger is that when we dismiss those seeds, we risk choking off growth before it begins.

Mistake: Dismissing passions that seem silly.

THE ISSUE

Parents love to separate activities into two neat categories: serious and silly.

Piano lessons? Serious.
Roblox storytelling? Silly.
Soccer team with uniforms? Serious.
Pokémon trading? Silly.

But for tweens, joy is serious. Their obsessions — whether it’s Minecraft circuits, TikTok dances, or collecting Pokémon cards — feel like identity, creativity, and connection rolled into one.

When we dismiss them as “a waste of time,” we’re not just ignoring chatter. We’re saying: What excites you doesn’t matter.

WHY PARENTS DO THIS

We dismiss tweens’ passions not because we’re monsters, but because our adult brains run on a different operating system.

Generational disconnect: We didn’t grow up with these hobbies, so they look meaningless to us.
Future anxiety: We worry they’re wasting time on things that won’t get them into college.
Over-scheduling bias: If it’s not in a structured program, it doesn’t feel legit.
Selective memory: We conveniently forget how much time we spent watching cartoons or memorizing song lyrics.
Parental fatigue: Listening to a 12-minute explanation of Minecraft redstone is… a lot.

HOW THIS HARMS TWEENS (AND PARENTS)

When we brush off tweens’ interests, we send subtle but powerful messages. It:

Devalues their joy: They learn their excitement only counts if it meets adult criteria.
Discourages exploration: Why try new things if every hobby gets dismissed?
Hurts connection: Shared enthusiasm is an easy way to bond. Ignoring it builds distance.
Sends wrong career signals: Many thriving careers began as “pointless” hobbies.
Limits identity: They may shape themselves only around what earns approval.

Subtle harm: They learn value comes from external approval, not intrinsic joy.

AVOIDING THE TRAP

The goal isn’t to turn every interest into a career plan. It’s to respect the role hobbies play in growth right now.

Be Curious, Not Critical. Instead of: “Why do you waste your time on that?”Try: “What do you like about it?” or “Show me what you built.”They don’t need you to get it — they need you to care.
Spot the Hidden Skills. Every “silly” thing has skills underneath.
- Minecraft: architecture, planning, problem-solving.
- Pokémon: math, negotiation, strategy.
- TikTok dances: persistence, creativity, confidence.
- Roblox storytelling: writing, collaboration, coding basics.
Don’t Turn It Into Homework. They don’t need “Minecraft Math Camp” after one good castle build. Let hobbies breathe without piling on structure.
Celebrate Milestones. If they beat a tricky level, finish a drawing, or film a video, acknowledge it. You don’t need to be an expert to say, “That’s awesome.”
Keep an Open Mind About Real-World Value. The line between hobby and career is blurry. Plenty of today’s careers — content creation, esports, design — started with “pointless” pastimes. Even if it never pays bills, it still teaches persistence and creativity.
Share Your Own “Pointless” Passions. Tell them about your skateboard tricks, garage band, or endless doodles. Many of us had hobbies that didn’t “lead anywhere” — but joy itself was the point.
Set Healthy Boundaries Without Disdain. It’s okay to limit screen time or balance activities. Just make sure boundaries don’t sound like contempt. “Two hours is enough” is different from “That’s a waste of time.”

MISTAKES TO AVOID

Calling their hobbies pointless or a “phase.”
Comparing them unfavorably to other kids’ pursuits.
Only supporting what you personally understand.
Treating joy as less valuable than “achievement.”

THE PAYOFF

When you respect their passions — even pixelated or perplexing ones — you teach:

Joy matters.
Exploration is safe.
Identity belongs to them.

And sometimes, “pointless” hobbies become surprising futures: the Minecraft kid might become an architect; the video editor might become a filmmaker; the Pokémon strategist might become a lawyer. But even if nothing career-worthy comes of it, it still matters. Because hobbies are practice in creativity, persistence, and joy.

The real win? They’ll look back and say: “My parents didn’t always understand, but they let me love what I loved.” And that’s worth more than any certificate.