The "Public-Posting Parent" Trap

dr. Kristijan Musek Lešnik
Oct 18, 2025
3 min read

Updated: Oct 21, 2025

For tweens, parental posting isn’t just annoying. It’s exposure. And in the age of permanent digital footprints, what you think is cute can become what they think is social ruin.

“Posting without consent chips away at trust — and once it’s online, it never really disappears.”

Tweens are already walking through middle school as if the hallway is a live comedy roast. Every zit, voice crack, or mismatched outfit feels like global humiliation. Now imagine that same kid discovering you just uploaded their awkward school photo to your 300 Facebook friends with the caption, “My little man is growing up so fast!” Let's look at how parents became publicists of their children’s lives, why it backfires, and how to celebrate without broadcasting every milestone to the world.

Mistake: Treating your tween’s private life as your public scrapbook.

THE ISSUE

Tweens are already convinced the world is judging them — every zit, every voice crack, every “wrong” hoodie. Add to that: parents broadcasting their lives online without permission.

It looks like this: your 12-year-old slumps at the breakfast table, hair wild, wearing pajamas with cartoon dinosaurs. You snap a “cute” photo. Two minutes later it’s on Instagram: “My baby’s growing up! Can’t believe middle school already. #blessed.”

By lunchtime, Aunt Carol has commented. By Monday, a classmate has screenshotted it. By Tuesday, the group chat has turned it into a meme.

Your intention: love.

Their experience: humiliation.

WHY PARENTS DO THIS

The urge to share our tweens' life publicly stems from various impulses:

Pride. It feels like a digital gold star.
Norms. Everyone else is posting. If you don’t, it feels weird.
Memory Bank. We tell ourselves: “I’m just preserving memories.” But Instagram isn’t a scrapbook — it’s a billboard.
Peer Pressure. Likes feel being validated.
Blurred Boundaries. Our feeds mix kids, work, and social lives.
Not Thinking Ahead. We forget permanence — until our kid begs us to delete something.

HOW THIS HARMS TWEENS (AND PARENTS)

Sharing too much online can lead to:

Loss of privacy. They didn’t consent.
Loss of trust. Every ignored “delete that” erodes connection.
Anxiety. Tweens are already self-conscious — posting adds a spotlight.
Teasing ammo. Screenshots travel fast.
Identity hijack. They want control over their image. Posting takes that away.
Permanent footprints. That spaghetti-face photo may outlive your Facebook account.

AVOIDING THE TRAP

Luckily, we can stay proud without being our tweens' PR nightmare.

Ask Before You Post. Consent matters — even at 11. A quick, “Okay if I share this?” goes a long way.
Share Selectively. Not everything belongs online. Create private albums for family.
Post Their Wins, Not Their Woes. Highlight achievements or things they’re proud of — not goofy accidents.
Model Respect. Treat their image with the care you’d want for yourself.
Keep Some Sacred. Not everything is content. The bedtime story and the meltdown don’t need captions.
Watch Your Humor. Your inside joke could read as mockery to them.
Future-Proof. Ask: “Will this embarrass them at 16?” If yes, skip it.
Build Offline Traditions. Handwritten birthday letters or scrapbooks beat hashtags in the long run.

THE PAYOFF

When you retire from unpaid tween publicist duties:

Kids feel respected, not exposed.
Trust deepens — they know you won’t ambush them online.
Family pride shifts from “likes” to connection.
Tweens learn they have a voice in their own story.

Years from now, your child won’t resent you for turning their life into content. They’ll remember that you protected their dignity in a world that overshares everything. They’ll remember whether you chose their trust over your timeline.