Tweens are already walking through middle school as if the hallway is a live comedy roast. Every zit, voice crack, or mismatched outfit feels like global humiliation. Now imagine that same kid discovering you just uploaded their awkward school photo to your 300 Facebook friends with the caption, “My little man is growing up so fast!” Let's look at how parents became publicists of their children’s lives, why it backfires, and how to celebrate without broadcasting every milesto

Tweens are just beginning to script their own social lives. But too often, parents storm the writer’s room, pencil in stereotypes, and give casting notes on every new friend. This chapter explores why we judge so quickly, how it backfires, and what to do instead — without becoming the meddling network executive who gets the show canceled.

At some point between ages 11 and 13, many parents stumble into the sticky, blush-filled world of tween crushes. Your kid drops the word “like” in a suspicious tone, or you notice them hovering a little longer around someone at school, and suddenly your inner gossip reporter springs to life. Unfortunately, turning every innocent crush into a family press conference doesn’t strengthen your bond — it embarrasses your tween into retreating further.

The tween years are a paradox. One minute they’re reciting climate change statistics like mini-activists, the next they’re crying because their favorite hoodie is in the wash. Parents get whiplash trying to figure out: Do I give them independence? Or do I remind them to brush their teeth for the hundredth time?

It’s tempting to save your best “I’m proud of you!” speeches for the huge moments: the spelling bee win, the A+ science fair project, the perfect goal. But the truth is, the small daily wins — like finishing homework without a battle, making the bed, or apologizing after a fight — are where your child’s grit, confidence, and habits are forged. Ignore those, and you miss the best chance to raise a resilient human.

Some parents treat imperfection like kryptonite. Their motto is: I cannot be wrong, because I am the Parent, capital P. But tweens? They are small, hormonal lie detectors. They notice your flaws before you’ve had your morning coffee. Pretending you’re always right doesn’t protect your authority — it undermines it. And worse, it models dishonesty. The real superpower isn’t perfection. It’s being able to say: Yep, I messed up. Now let’s fix it.

You think you’re encouraging achievement. But when every quiz, essay, or spelling test gets analyzed like stock prices on Wall Street, your child doesn’t feel motivated — they feel like a company under hostile takeover. Let's look into how we got so grade-obsessed, what it does to kids, and how to build a healthier approach to learning that values growth over graphs.

They can run a group chat, edit videos, and Google their way through a math worksheet — but apparently, making a sandwich is “too hard.” The “Still a Baby” Trap unpacks how modern parents accidentally turn capable tweens into part-time toddlers, and how to hand the reins back without starting a household revolution.

Parents love to divide the world into “serious” and “silly.” School subjects? Serious. Sports teams with uniforms? Serious. Minecraft, Pokémon, Roblox, TikTok dances? Silly. But tweens don’t see that line. For them, joy is serious. Their passions — no matter how pixelated or obscure — are the seeds of curiosity, creativity, and confidence. The danger is that when we dismiss those seeds, we risk choking off growth before it begins.

Every parent’s been there — staring at the unattended phone, convincing themselves it’s “responsible curiosity.” But when parenting turns into private investigation, trust takes the hit. Let's look at why our fear of what we don’t know pushes us to scroll, search, and snoop — and how giving our tweens space to breathe might be the thing that keeps them talking to us in the long run.