Parenting Life-Hacks: Avoiding The "Pretending You’re Never Wrong" Trap

dr. Kristijan Musek Lešnik
Oct 15, 2025
2 min read

Some parents treat imperfection like kryptonite. Their motto is: I cannot be wrong, because I am the Parent, capital P. But tweens? They are small, hormonal lie detectors. They notice your flaws before you’ve had your morning coffee. Pretending you’re always right doesn’t protect your authority — it undermines it. And worse, it models dishonesty. The real superpower isn’t perfection. It’s being able to say: Yep, I messed up. Now let’s fix it.

“Admitting mistakes teaches humility and honesty. Even if you are a parent. Especially if you are a parent.”

AVOIDING THE TRAP

Authority doesn’t come from being flawless. It comes from fairness, consistency, and humility. Here’s how to reset.

Start Small. Practice on harmless stuff: “I told you the wrong time,” or “I thought we had eggs.” Normalizes imperfection without drama.
Ditch the “But” Apology. “I’m sorry I yelled, but you were being difficult” isn’t an apology. It’s blame. Try: “I’m sorry I yelled. That wasn’t fair.”
Model Self-Correction. Show growth: “I thought staying up late was fine, but you’re exhausted. Let’s fix bedtime tomorrow.”
Share Past Failures. Tell them about your own flops — the failed test, the driver’s license retake, the unfortunate 90s haircut. Mistakes don’t ruin you; they shape you.
Praise Their Honesty. When they admit a mistake, don’t pounce. Say, “Thanks for being honest.” That makes it safer for everyone to own up.
Reframe Authority. True authority is about trust, not perfection. A parent who admits wrongs earns more respect than one who never does.
Watch the Spin. Notice when you’re reframing instead of admitting. If you hear yourself say, “That’s not what I meant,” pause. Try: “Actually, I was wrong.”
Use humor. Humor turns shame into strength. Saying “Wow, I totally blew that one!” with a grin shows humility is a skill, not a weakness.