Parenting Life-Hacks: Avoiding The "Crush Interrogation" Trap

dr. Kristijan Musek Lešnik
Oct 18, 2025
1 min read

At some point between ages 11 and 13, many parents stumble into the sticky, blush-filled world of tween crushes. Of course, we are curious. WHO is it? Do they like you back? What’s their last name? Are we talking wedding registry? But to a tween, this level of attention feels like a magnifying glass on their most vulnerable feelings.

“Curiosity is natural, but interrogations kill trust faster than a middle school rumor.”

AVOIDING THE TRAP

Luckily, there are many ways to be a supportive parent of a tween in love without playing tabloid reporter:

Treat it as normal, not newsworthy. No gasps, no headlines. Nod, smile, move on.
Keep questions optional. Skip the interrogation. A simple “That’s cool” works wonders.
No public commentary. Golden rule: if they told you, it’s not for siblings, relatives, or social media.
Don’t tease. Playful jokes (“When’s the wedding?”) feel like mockery.
Respect their feelings. Don’t call it “silly puppy love.” To them, it’s very real and very big.
Separate your anxiety. Don’t project heartbreak prevention schemes onto a cafeteria crush.
Use it for gentle lessons. Slip in short values like kindness and respect — no lectures.
Be the safe landing zone. If it doesn’t work out, offer comfort, not “I told you so.”