Parenting Life-Hacks: Avoiding The "Competing for the Fun Parent Trophy" Trap

dr. Kristijan Musek Lešnik
Oct 17, 2025
2 min read

Parenting is already exhausting without it doubling as a competitive sport. Yet it happens, often subtly. “Mom made you eat broccoli? Don’t worry, I’ll order pizza.” Each move feels small — even generous. But in a child’s eyes, the pattern is clear: love is measured by who says yes the most.

When parenting becomes a contest for affection, the prize isn’t worth the cost — because the child ends up losing the stability they actually need.

“Kids need consistent parenting, not two competing cruise directors.”

AVOIDING THE TRAP

The good news? You can be fun and consistent:

Agree on Core Rules. Set shared boundaries — bedtime, homework, screen time. If both parents enforce the same basics, there’s less room for loopholes.
Make Treats Occasional, Not Currency. A surprise trip for ice cream works best when it’s not used as competition. Joy works better as a gift than a bribe.
Don’t Undermine Publicly. If the other parent already said no, back it up. Disagree later, in private. Otherwise, kids learn to play you off each other like mini political strategists.
Connect Without Buying It. Board games, silly jokes, baking together, walks. These low-cost, no-bribe moments build deeper connection than pizza-forgiveness.
Share the Credit. Reframe from “I’m taking you to the park” to “We thought it’d be fun for you to go to the park.” It’s about teamwork, not trophies.
Pause and Check Your Motives. Before you say yes, ask: “Am I doing this to connect — or to outshine the other parent?” That pause can be a lifesaver.
Play the Long Game. Today’s pout over bedtime rules is tomorrow’s trust in your consistency. Fun fades fast. Reliability lasts.