We’ve all been there: your kid runs in glowing because Mom let them have ice cream before dinner. You, determined not to look like the boring parent, announce a movie night with popcorn. The kid beams, the scoreboard ticks, and suddenly parenting feels less like teamwork and more like Survivor. The danger? When parenting becomes a contest for affection, the prize isn’t worth the cost — because the child ends up losing the stability they actually need.

It starts with ice cream after dinner. Then it’s “one more show,” “one more toy,” “one more cookie.” Before you know it, you’re the genie from Aladdin, granting every wish just to keep the meltdown away.

It starts with something innocent: “Can I have ice cream before dinner?” One parent punts: “Ask your mother.” Mom, mid-email, punts back: “Ask your father.” The child, now a shuttlecock in a badminton match of avoidance, eventually either eats the ice cream in quiet rebellion… or grows up to believe decision-making requires a full quorum.